How many times have you been in a conversation that felt like it wasn't progressing?  Perhaps due to emotion?  Perhaps varied opinions or other factors?  The next time you're faced with this situation, ask yourself if you're WITH this person (or people) or working AGAINST them?  How do you get back to being with a person or people?




*Get back to the moment


*Remove distractions


*Remove the need to win or be right


*Listen first before speaking


*Restate what you hear the person saying


*Ask if you don't understand


*Validate their thoughts, feelings and opinions even if they differ from your own


*Determine whether the conversation should continue or be delayed


*Accept where the person is and where you are


*Ask yourself:  "Will this issue matter next week?  Next month?"


*Ask for what you need or let it go

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